Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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