I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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