I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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