I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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