READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
