stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
