found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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