did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
