Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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