You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wannas sexs uuuuu
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
