I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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