well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's shark week go big or go home
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
