It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
