Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
