It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
