Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
