My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
