his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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