Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
