You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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