I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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