you traded sex for a burrito?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize