Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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