Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
did i just pee glitter
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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