clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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