I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
