My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
