For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
