Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
