It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So squirting runs in the family.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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