The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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