Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
