Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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