The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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