she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
