So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.