2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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