is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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