i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Sober January is a disaster.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
