He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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