the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess