After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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