Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house