I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
