I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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