I like to think it a success when the cops are called
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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