If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize