Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You need a sexual gate keeper
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
