OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
