the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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