you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
