did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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