We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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