even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
