who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
