I am spending my child support on dildos
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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