So drunk its hurt
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
