Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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