it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
