this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
