i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you had me at cake vodka
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
