i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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