I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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