i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
