My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
