with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
