He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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