How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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